Here, Right Now

Spring is on its way.  My forsythia has buds already, and last night when we went to my boyfriend’s daughter’s birthday party, something was peeking out of the ground in front of her house – crocus maybe or hyacinth?  I love to watch nature all around me come to life in all of the wonderful greens and pinks and yellows and all of the other colors of the rainbow.

Do you ever have one of those moments when you feel fluttery inside but you’re not sure why?  It’s like there’s this feeling that something is happening – or is going to happen – and you desperately need to know what it is but you just can’t put your finger on it.  I get those feelings now and then.  My senses seem heightened, my heart beats a little faster, and I can do nothing but wait for whatever it is that is coming.  I believe in the power of positive thinking and I force myself to believe that whatever is heading my way will be something good.  Is that unrealistic?  Silly?  Just plain weird?  I bet you’re leaning towards that last option, aren’t you?  Sometimes the best thing for me to do in these moments is to write – just write without thinking too hard about what to write.  If it’s meant to happen, the words will just flow out of me.

Do you know the song THE CARTER FAMILY by Carley Simon?  Great song!  It was on her NO SECRETS album released in 1972.  I was 15 years old, and not only did I love the songs (man, you should have heard me wailing away with her on the radio and on my record player) but I remember the comments about the album cover.  Her nipples are showing through her blue top.  How shameful! J

THE CARTER FAMILY is a song about having something, not really wanting it any longer for one reason or another, and then realizing later on how much you miss that something.  In Carley’s song it was her grandmother, her childhood friend, and her lover.  It’s funny how a song like that can touch you and make you think about things you may not have thought about for a long time.  Are there “things” in my life that I regret getting rid of?  Sure.  There have been all kinds of “things” throughout my fifty-some years and I bet that you’ve had similar experiences.  I think it’s just one of those facts of life that sometimes we can’t think things through and envision what the future might hold.

We live in the moment.  We rely on instant gratification.  We want what we want and we want it now!  If something doesn’t fit our needs or doesn’t provide us with good feelings, we get rid of it and move on.  Material things, pets, friends, lovers – we push things aside without really thinking.

I guess what I’m feeling is that we need more awareness of the things we have and thing that are around us.  We need to think beyond the “here, right now.”  We need to believe that those things (people included) can change just as nature changes from season to season.  Things are going to get better; things are not going to be so good sometimes – but it usually circles around.  We should not be so quick to be like the person in Carley Simon’s song; we should hold on and expect that our attitude towards things and people will change at some point – that the “here, right now” isn’t necessarily a view into the future.

Expect good things from people even if you don’t feel it at the moment.  You never know what’s going on their lives that are affecting how they are in the “here, right now.”  I’m not so unrealistic to believe that everything is meant to be forever, but I’ve learned that you have to give things time before you make a rash decision that will impact the rest of your life.

Oh, good – I’m not feeling so fluttery any more.


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