What the heck happened? Just the other day I merged onto US Route 4 after leaving Josh on the campus of Castleton State College to start his first semester at the college, teary eyed and dealing with many different emotions as I drove home. Today it’s almost two years later and I feel like I’ve fallen through a time warp. What happened to the last two years?
Many hours spent studying for certification exams, dealing with a host of issues around the house, lost inside vacillating between wanting this and wanting that (relative to many, many things) – yes, many time warps of many degrees. Or is it that age is playing a part in this?
I was driving home from work this evening and all of this hit me upside the head. It’s July 18 – a good part of the summer is already gone and yet I feel like I’ve just stepped into the heat. Maybe it’s the incredibly hot weather; maybe it’s lack of proper sleep (been tossing and turning a lot lately); or perhaps it’s just a midlife crisis (how long do those last anyway?).
Time is driving me crazy. I pump a lot into my days – I get to work before 7:30 am, I rarely take a lunch break, and I’m usually out of the office around 5 or 5:20. I cram a lot into those hours to take advantage of time as much as I can. But then after I get home I usually crash in front of the TV or find myself playing Forty Thieves solitaire or Angry Birds or Gardens of Time when I need to keep the mind exercised. Bit sometimes I get mentally exhausted trying to decide what to do next. I don’t always want to shut down because I like to keep engaged.
Problem is, a lot of the time I’m trying to determine what I really want out of life. I haven’t totally figured that out yet. And it seems like I’m running out of time. After all, I am 55. When does it become too late? Does it ever become too late?
One of my Facebook “friends” is Martin Guitars. I have a Martin HD28V which I named Aiden which has incredible depth of sound.
Today Martin Guitars posted a question – “Sometimes it’s nice to be peaceful on your own and play – where would you like to take your Martin when you need to get away?”
I posted my comment without any hesitation …
One the last day of school in May, Josh took me to a spot on the outer rim of Castleton’s property where there’s a little wooden bridge that crosses a stream. The water in the stream is the clearest I’ve ever seen. It runs over rocks of all sizes and sounds like peace. Josh and I sat on the bridge, feet dangling close to the running water, and we listened to the sounds around us. Water, birds chirping, leaves rustling in the slight breeze – it was so calming.
We plan to go back there when we move him back up to Castleton. I can’t wait. I’m thinking maybe this time I’ll take my Little Martin with me. Maybe that sounds a little corny, but what the heck. I think I’ll get inspired and maybe write a song – something I haven’t done in mega-years.
I’m sitting here at my desk at home and looking at a little stuffed moose with the word “Vermont” stitched on its belly. Above “Vermont” there’s a scene of a lake surrounded by pine trees and a full moon peeking out from behind them, its reflection rippling on the water. [sigh] I miss my son.
I’m so proud of him for taking that huge leap and going to a college so far from home. It’s one of the few colleges that offer a forensic psychology program, and since that’s where his interest is, that was his school of choice. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have a car up there (he does have one sitting in my driveway but right now it needs a new belt and it always seems to need something).
It’s about an 8-hour drive including stops for gas and breaks. It’s not a bad drive and I actually enjoy the scenery. And I love Vermont. It’s a beautiful state. Castleton itself is a charming little college town – perhaps a smaller version of Westminster, MD. Much smaller.
I picked up that little stuff moose in Hoosick, NY at a little gift shop/deli that Josh and I like to stop at when we take the Route 7 route into Rutland. It’s the cutest little place with all kinds of NY and VT souvenirs and tchotchkies (did I spell that correctly?). And their food is good too – Josh loves their pulled pork, and the last time we stopped there I got a Moose Trot Wrap – a wrap with roasted turkey, stuffing, and cranberry jelly (I skipped the mayo).
Every time I go to Vermont there are things happening with the mountains and the sky that I’ve never seen before. I usually stop on the side of the road to take pictures, but some of them simply can’t capture the natural beauty of what our eyes see. It’s a shame. I post some of the pictures on Facebook but the best of them are in my mind.